Of loss and Grief

I lost my father last week from cardiac arrest.

And through the course of grieving I lost not a father but a meaning to life.

In just one blink of an eye, you are a memory, a matter that passed. All the false pretense of how to live, carry and hold your life was a big fat lie. The battles and pseudo triumphs you picked and lost to were fucked up imaginings that strain and drain your human body. That you are a slave to chemicals, your soul lives by the promise and result of chemical reactions. It all goes down  to this end of the road where you are nothing but a dead body left to be buried into the very same imaginings that evokes simultaneous reactions for chemicals to feed on neurons to make  the hormones of the ones you leave behind react into a blissful state of something. The end is cold. 

The end is cold.