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Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Why do I sing the songs that I sing? Why do I make the songs I make?

Why do I sing the songs that I sing? Why do I make the songs I make?

I kept thinking about that after my Jam session in Kooky Tuasons' show where in I was a guest along with 2 lifestyle geniuses.
Photo Courtesy of Bigkas Pilipinas

 I was asked by  AA Patawaran, Manila Bulletin's Lifestyle editor something to the effect of why do I make my songs. Afraid to explain a fair bit and call too much attention to myself, I resorted to explaining it in bits that would be interesting so I can avoid going down the path of dragging listeners to boredom.It was a funny version of the whole explanation as to why. It bothered me that I did not express my truth fully because I was afraid to draw too much attention to the place in my soul I secretly call my own.

Link to the 4 hour show here:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2337386626494279&id=249511228120

The fact is , that is a question that I am asked often. Kevin Roy asked me that in our joint gig in paranaque, Kuya Nitoy Adriano also asked me this as well, along with other musicians I worked with and I respond as funny as I can to be likeable.

I make songs to express my truth. I project an outgoing and extroverted persona to be liked in the superficial world but deep down inside I cry about questions that are unanswered in my life and what I go through. Do not bother handing me a joint because I will leave you down to my world of being happy rolling alone and that's just who I truly am. 

So going back to unanswered questions, It tires me rolling these questions in my head , scenarios and things I think to be true about my life that no one I know shares with me. My songs are my anchor to feel. I tune out my feelings when I deal with the world as I have to be or need to be or need to act for someone else to be able to survive. I always seek solace through my songs to remind my self of positive and negative feelings that I went through to stay real and grounded. It is my ultimate dream and happiness to have people help me color my music with life as they are all raw and dead down in my soundcloud. I want to make my song known for me to know if there are other people who think like me so I can gain a friend who understands me. I guess it is the same as how I deal with my life, my compositions are like a cry for help a cryptic suicide note waiting to be read and realized. It is both deep and dark at the same time that only I and my feelings can understand. At the end of the day these songs are what I am passionate about in my life. I have invested my travel times, holidays being locked up for days, idle time in bus rides, money and garage band studio time composing bits and pieces of my thoughts and feelings. 

How do I clasify my genre? 

Now that I think about it, I wanted to pretty much be triphop but it is turning out to be more in the side of sad core. These songs are more of my gut reserve , it depends on how you look at it, some people would call it dark and heavy some would be dizzy and confused while some will treat it as art, dark art. We all have some type of darkness in our life this is my ugly showing out in the world.In my songs i do not care if i use a different note or key from the rhythm of the music to the song I sing. In my songs I feel free to defy. My songs are not your standard and my competion level singing voice is not at play, some tunes off key but that is just me being free.

If we think and feel alike and you feel as though you feel me then give it a listen here: