Tuesday, May 3, 2016

I wish this will go away soon.

I miss you around me making me smile greeting me good morning
I miss you making me feel
I miss that I can just call you and you will be here and you would make me feel calm.
I still wake up around the same time that we both do 2-3 am I don't know If you still do.
you have been my sweet space
you made me feel really tender
and it was amazing
I don't know if it was amazing for you
I don't know if you felt what I felt.
but i had to stop it had to stop.
because you no longer wanted.
And I don't know how to cope with rejection.
I had to be. I have to let it go.
it is hard. I am counting the kilometers I spend biking in the places far away
I already ran miles but still the pain is just the same
I don't know when I will find or will I be found.
But what happens now is I have to clean up every little mess I made
Make up for all lost time that was brought about by my impulsiveness
Do my own personal responsibilities
With a hurt heart I know I will get over this.
I know I loved you deep as an ocean crave depth
in the short amount of time we spent
What matters now is I will continue to move.
Move as I can. Only a few people know how sad I am
but the sensitive ones know I'm lost
only a few know I am in pain.
I'm not banking on seeing you ever again though
But the next time someone tries to make me feel tender
I will guard my heart and my sanity harder.
I will work myself up to beat all my insecurities and be the best woman I can ever be.
I will use my head more next time.
And not give away too much of my time.
I am treating you as a lesson in life.
I wish all the negative feelings will go away very soon.
Because no one deserves to outshine my stars and my moon.

Thursday, April 7, 2016


Dear Boy,

It's easy to play on a fat girl with low self esteem

You won't live to regret anything.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Maharlika Paradise: A Secret Pristine Preserved spot in Wawa Montalban.

I have been coming back to Maharlika Paradise, A DENR Protected site being cared for by Ang Kasama Inc., of the Samahang Maharlika Movement at Sitio Sabangan, Wawa Montalban, everytime I want a space out of the hustle and bustle of that Manila wildlife we are addicted to. It is here where
I plug in to the vibrations of the earth and it's bounty. I get to meditate a few hours and feel refreshed for the week ahead. It is a measly 25-35 minute walk from the Pamitian DENR office. It is a secret enclave known to some of the underground artists and famous writers that seek solace towards enlightenment. It is a half way house of the transitioning empowered soul, as I can call it.  

Beyond the peace and quiet that Maharlika Paradise has to offer, what drew me to this movement is the passion for uncovering the realities of one of our societies' lies. This was also the same fight that some of our predecessors have been fighting with including the late president Ferdinand Marcos. Bringing back the original foundation of our country from the spanish' Philippines to Maharlika. Not only that, our rich culture is so muddied by colonialism and all this isms that our roots are being compromised. Maharlika Paradise in general is a protected preservation of integral morals of our original citizenship.

In Lieu with this an annual "Maharlika Summit" is held in different places of the Philippines. This Summit will be held this year at Baguio City.

Back to the Paintings:

Through the goodness of my Meditation Mentor, Dada Deo Palma, I am able to channel my love for art through my expressed meditative strokes during my stay.

This was my Mural art Pre - Motherhood by the guesthouse way back 2013:

At this time I was with Lawrence my song writing buddy as he was my designated driver back then. How I miss lo's company. It's just he is in his cycle of life right now that we cannot control but would pass. 

And this is my mural in progress for the daycare kitchen:

This is Taluli and me while I was doing my mural:

I am very blessed to be able to share this experience and way of life to my son in my quest to have him live the freedom that he so greatly deserve.