Oye to the World! Taluli and Mama Chronicles

I went to this place with family just recently. And I was surprised, a whiff of that familiar feeling hit me. That happiness I felt those days I went on a crazy rendezvous, probably the craziest I have ever done in my life. I flew planes to be with you on weekends. I rode busses to be with you and make you feel how crazy in love I was with you. It was crazy. I had too much that I gave, that was too much happiness for me. That was one of what I think the happiest moments of my life. What I can remember vaguely was, you were in that place, I came and visited you and stayed the weekend in a hotel or a place you stay in which I do not clearly remember but what resonated with me was the excitement I felt when you came to the door after your work day and we just consumed our selves the wholenight and I just gave myself fully. I was very happy that day. But I know that was one memory away. I was thankful for that. I do not think I fully forgave myself with something about that part of my life...

My son and I, (Taluli, my angel, now 5 years of age) have been inside the confines of our barangay (Brgy 170) for approximately 4 weeks now. The Philippines has been placed in Extreme Quarantine for a month now and as a single mother living alone with a child, this has been a challenge mentally because I get to stay at home with my kid and be the best mother while I beat the anxiety that I always fought in being a person who needed to “ always get it going on”. March 12, 2020 — Duterte announced that there was a pandemic and that the country has been put in Extreme Quarantine. As this news came I knew that my senses will raise a full alert and try to deal with this situation at hand. My son was supposed to have a moving up ceremony and was supposed to practice prior but things kept moving and school suspending that he and I just had to be still. There was panic and fear that I was physically trying to beat the anxiety attacks for the first 4 days of the ECQ. My mind was on a c...

I get high on my own so I am all alone nakakalungkot isipin na madalas sa lakbay na to ako lang talaga mag isa. Kayod na lang para me relevance ako.  Ganun talaga. Hindi ka pinagpala. Hmmm..

She was running as fast as she could  While no one was holding her down Then someone came along to lift her up You kept grabbing her by the arm  Your words are like daggers  Pinning her on the ground while she wanted to fly She tried to escape so she can no longer be raped By your abusive rants and cries She kept changing her life so her future can be so bright But the atmosphere of your existence was savage  And energy so negative That she cannot see the light Now she is drowning alone  Catching her life in deep breath Her body now wretched and tired  That you pushed her towards her death.

Why do I sing the songs that I sing? Why do I make the songs I make? I kept thinking about that after my Jam session in Kooky Tuasons' show where in I was a guest along with 2 lifestyle geniuses. Photo Courtesy of Bigkas Pilipinas  I was asked by  AA Patawaran, Manila Bulletin's Lifestyle editor something to the effect of why do I make my songs. Afraid to explain a fair bit and call too much attention to myself, I resorted to explaining it in bits that would be interesting so I can avoid going down the path of dragging listeners to boredom.It was a funny version of the whole explanation as to why. It bothered me that I did not express my truth fully because I was afraid to draw too much attention to the place in my soul I secretly call my own. Link to the 4 hour show here: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2337386626494279&id=249511228120 The fact is , that is a question that I am asked often. Kevin Roy asked me that in our joint gig in parana...

Taluli is now 4 and is in the age when he is super curious and super enjoying pretend play and that the only way to get him to pay attention is through relatable mediums like his favorite YouTube, Sci Fi and Supernatural.  Every parent wants to manage a kid these days and part of this is giving them gadgets where they can play and watch YouTube, I know it is the worst thing you can do to a kid but because these kids are naturally seeking stimulus relating to anything that is in YouTube when a parent is absent and busy hence making YouTube an ally to these toddlers. But when is enough, enough? I have noticed that Taluli started to sound like a YouTuber and would talk about anything that is in YouTube and adapt mannerisms, and expressions as exaggerated as a YouTuber would sound,  like a total disconnect to reality. That is when I already had to draw the line and think of ways on how to not necessary keep him off of the Tube, but limit his exposure to it.  Talul...

So everyone is on to their new year's resolution and I am sitting here having second thoughts as to what and how will I approach my "coming-into-my-forties" year which is just another year supposedly, but with bigger responsibilities. (uhm, Taluli is getting bigger wiser and full of dreams and promise that I gotta give a boy a better life besides what we have now) At this time of my life, I finally have embraced my leadership skills and talent for figuring out shit from puzzle pieces that I do that as a full time career.  So heck I will lead my self now and figure shit out from the puzzle pieces of my own life and take full reign of my happier future.  Pweh daming kuda! So on to my new year's resolution: 1.) I will try and bike to work so I will be back to my fitter self so I can eat what I want and have a reason to eat them, sans rice which killed my vibe so bad.      I used to bike to work and saved so much and ate everything I want sans the ri...