Oye to the World! Taluli and Mama Chronicles

> I look back > It's been a month > And damn we moved so fast > Surreal > I love the fast paced life > You chill me out > And hold me down > It is almost as if > It was a perfect fit > Of course I still have doubts > Let me see, wait, > You had me at food > You had me at our total equal weirdness > You had me at Passion man, you have passion > You are more of a man than anyone with fake power see > I don't know if you know that about you > But I see it very clear > And it draws me more to you > To sum this up in one word > is : Intense. This rhyme doesnt make no sense.

You are a puzzle. You are hard to handle. You seem promising. You seem unique. You seem great. We seem great. You seem sincere. So now we are here.

Last night was very bad. I had a panic attack. I sobbed and I sobbed and felt a cold burn in my chest and a numbing in my arms. I had to breathe through a paperbag just to calm myself down. This usually happens when I feel I almost am about to sink down an emotional hole. When I am to embark on an outpour of strong emotions such as anger, love, selfhate, dissapointment and total darkness. My brain goes bonkers and it gets uncontrollable from there. It used to be very scary now I have managed to ease the attacks for a shorter period of time. When this happens I shutdown. What I have is a very hyper active brain,  trained to go zero to sixty most of the time. It was and always is, growing up as independent as I was. The only thing that I have in mind in calming it down passively is alcohol, when time is due and able I meditate or have a sober introspection where all the gunk is washed by terrible tears of a motherfucking 5 year old. After which all the excess emotional stu...

Bask in this shitty place in your current life, And just like a Phoenix  motherfucker you soon shall rise.

I have enough motivation around me to keep me going.  Shitty Relations. Bad Moves. Sweet Fatherless Son with a future of Gold. Fat Ass. Yup son, this is going to be one hell of a ride to 40.