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Sunday , 9pm, October 27 2013 :)

There are times when you look back at your life and you find out all along that whatever that took you this far made you who you are to come to this point. This pregnancy has thought me things I learned about my self in 2 weeks than I ever did in 34 years, imagine that? It is making me love myself because there is a being that is your own that you are taking care of that requires you loving yourself the way you have never loved yourself ever before and you are sure as shit there is no way around it but that. Destiny and the people you meet along the way are no accidents so I have only forgiveness in my heart that I have. I know that jusr every bitter thought that comes across that make me pity myself is just the control dying because I didnt have it my way in particular situations where it was almost perfect in my thoughts. You know what thought passed me? That all the while, I am enough and I am worthy and I will never ever sell my self short again to fill the void because there is

Crying while eating a meatpie lol.

This is funny Im eating a meatpie while waiting for my car to get washed and just one dramatic thought about my situation passed by, I burst into tears...taking a bite of the meat pie...wow. Hahaha. My hormones must be raging Damn.

Some things are just going to drastically change, because...

I am pregnant. Yes. I am going to be a mom to a human and not only dogs. (Whew, finally.) I decided to blog it so to have a release because I am finding out right now that my mental and emotional wiring are screaming shots wildly. It needs management. Im calling it a name. The control freak fanny or CFF Im scared this control freak fanny resurface when situations are not great. CFF tunes in a lot and is hypersensitive towards judging situations and can hold a person or a crew emotionally hostaged. Now why did I say that? Because of the fact that now I am preggers CFF decides to resurface and take control and be always right about the why and the what of things, people around me will automatically have to deal and understand. CFF is a very wicked enemy a buy product of emotions which is very very nasty. Call it my primal fear in this next season. I know the solution though on how to kill CFF ...ask for help. Hahaha. So i messaged Dada Palma, my meditation mentor if I can spend ti